Thumbs Up for 'Paranormal Activity'

As an avid movie watcher (all genres, all time periods, all countries), I have to count horror among my least favorite genres. Not because of the gore factor or subject matter so much as the difficulty of finding a horror film that actually gets under my skin. I can honestly say no movie has ever scared me since Poltergeist when I was 5 years old. My favorite horror films are more psychological thrillers than sheer terror, including Jaws, Rosemary's Baby, and Alien. I can't stand slasher films, they aren't intelligent enough to capture my interest. A climbing body count will do nothing for me unless there is a tight script and fascinating characters to follow, as in The Silence of the Lambs.

There are several elements I consider necessary to create a great horror film and "Paranormal Activity" had too many slices of genius for me to deny it a shout out. Let me start off by saying that docu-reality in horror hasn't worked for me prior. I rolled my eyes at the Blair Witch (though I did appreciate we never saw her). Cloverfield did nothing for my imagination. The only time I saw docu-reality working recently in a somewhat effective way was in District 9, where I thought it blended well with the storyline. Paranormal Activity on the other hand could not have been filmed any other way.

One of the most effective tools in the creation of a horror film is a fantastic villain. And by that, I mean one that is virtually impossible to get rid of. When I think back to Alien, I see all the elements in place for a terrific sci-fi horror extravaganza. You have the Nostromo, a salvaging ship, and its crew passing through the voids of deep space, essentially mimicking a gang of truckers in space. Their job is not to discover and fight aliens but rather do their contracted work, collect galactic trash and go home. They are stuck in the middle of the universe where 'no one can hear them scream' and confined to a large ship with no shortage of nooks and crannies for a species to hide. Not to mention, this is no ordinary creature and something they are completely unprepared to handle, and it has acid for blood. With respect to Paranormal Activity, what better predator is there than one you can't even see, nonetheless begin to comprehend? And if you need a hand, sorry - your only help is on vacation.

A favorite weapon of mine in the filmmaking arsenal is the skillful use of allowing the audience's imagination to wander as opposed to showing the audience everything in the screenshot. What one can't see is far more terrifying than what one can. In 'Signs', M Night Shyamalan masterfully employs this concept by hiding the alien from our view. We feel its presence in the wind blowing through the trees or the dog barking outside. The brief glimpses of its hand popping out from under the door or running in the background of a children's birthday party *cringe* are enough. These techniques were so perfect that seeing the alien was a massive letdown. Our imaginations conjure up far worse. (Remember Rosemary's Baby?)

Throughout the course of Paranormal Activity, we encounter an average couple who have just moved in together. Unlike most actors employed in docu-reality (always unknowns, of course) these two were completely believable as the ordinary couple they appeared to be. Docu-reality takes a risk as the characters aren't often developed or fleshed out enough to pull me into their personal story prior to the involved plot, and if this isn't successfully accomplished, we fail to care about the character's inner experience. We can all relate to Micah and Katie; we've all been in a close relationship and if we don't see ourselves in these two, we certainly know someone just like them.

Like The Blair Witch Project, we are observing an experience after-the-fact, captured on film. We already know it didn't end well. We come to learn that Micah and Katie are not the only inhabitants in their new house. This is news to Micah but apparently not to Katie, who has felt an entity with her since she was a girl she was powerless to explain. Micah is the stereotypical young male, more curious than fearless, more concerned with his new camera and filming the possibilities than his girlfriend's emotions. He is convinced he is in full control and can handle any situation that arises, if there's anything to even be concerned about in the first place. His camera rolls non-stop, capturing the mundane details of his domestic life with Katie. While they sleep at night, the camera vigilantly captures every detail.

The true prodigy of this film is that it capitalizes on all of humankind's biggest fears harking back to our earliest nightmares as children: Things that go bump in the night, what might be hiding in our closet, attic, or under the bed, what our eyes can't see, what really happens when we are asleep and helpless in a dark room, our sleepwalking activities, and why we always have that incessant urge to keep our toes hidden underneath a blanket. Like a good Stephen King production, we are inherently disturbed because the piece has tapped into the dark recesses of our psyche to dance with our most instinctual disturbances.

I can't say I was truly terrified (movies just don't do that to me), but lets just say I was more disturbed than anything I have seen in a long time. I truly enjoyed it as a picture as the cleverness was too pronounced to ignore, not to mention it was mad fun to listen to the audience gasp and squirm in their seats. I especially loved walking out of the theater to nervous chatter among grown men who wanted to wet their seats. Now that's entertainment.

The Real World: New York vs. Cancun

My, how we've changed.

While I admit reality TV isn't generally something I go out of my way to watch, I remember enjoying the early years of the genre. Specifically, the first seasons of MTV's "The Real World". The show rapidly went downhill within a few seasons and I stopped watching. Out of sheer curiosity, I decided to give Real World: Cancun a try. BIG mistake. I revisited the very first season (Real World: New York) in an attempt to see the origins of how it all began and to understand how it could have possibly ended up as hideously bad as it evolved into...

Flashback to 1992. 7 strangers were picked to live in a house...

In Episode 1, we meet the housemates. Among them are:

Eric - A troubled-teen-turned-model who despite popular misconception appears to be far more than just a chiseled face and cut six pack.

Becky - An outspoken folk-singer who is unafraid to defend her views and develop a relationship with the ("ex") Real World director.

Andre - The guy rocking out with his band Reigndance who provides the house with a much-needed mellow roommate.

Heather B - The rap singer who powerfully flows on the mic and wears her opinions on her sleeve.

Norman - The bisexual man who is always on hand to provide a good laugh and a warm hug.

Julie - The Southern girl with the overprotective parents who wants to see and experience the world.

Kevin - A gifted poet with a penchant for stirring up intense debates in the house.


Flash forward to 2009, when MTV has premiered the 22nd season of the Real World filmed in beautiful Cancun. Our cast of characters (yes, characters, i.e. not real people) include:

Ayiia - A bisexual Hooters waitress who creates no end of drama for her roommates and is revealed to be a cutter.

CJ - The Football player who has bad pick up lines (yes, this is as deep a description as we could conjure up for him).

Jasmine - The former cheerleader with a Napoleon complex that drinks far too much and never lands her crush despite the best of efforts (i.e. being a creepy stalker).

Bronne - The loud-and-obnoxious-yet-relatively-friendly house goof

Emilee - Another bisexual Hooters waitress with A.D.D. and two therapists for parents (*paging Dr. Freud*).

Jonna - A multiracial girl who loves to befriend men and steal them away from her housemates.

Derek - Your friendly neighborhood homosexual who worked at a bar with Jonna prior to filming.

Joey - A three-time high school dropout in a punk band who sleeps with anything he can get his hands on while sadistically egging on his roommates.

If the casting breakdown doesn't scare you enough, read on.

In the original Real World, there were truly 7 distinct people and personalities all thrown into a fishbowl experience without any expectation of what the experience might hold. The only similarities they all shared were that they were all artists and had aspirations to work in entertainment. After an entire season of Cancun, I really couldn't tell you much of anything about who these people were and what they thought (if they indeed had any rational thoughts at all) other than at least five of them appeared to be the same person, i.e. naggy, bratty, overly self-involved, and immature. These were people I wouldn't want to share an apartment with, nonetheless a city (save for Derek, who was smart enough not to get entangled in the drama, which is probably why we didn't see much of him - much like Season 1's Andre). I am praying that the production team of Real World just did a horrible job and have let the show be reduced to utter nothingness rather than believe that the generation gap really has widened that much and that this show is somehow reflective of its present generation (If this is the case, bring on the asteroid - we're done for).

In Season 1, we were presented with a group of determined young people ready to make their mark on the world. They were interested in learning about one another and engaged in intellectual discussion while concerning themselves with political and global issues. They attended human rights rallies (Julie wanted to understand others so much she spent the night on the street with a homeless drug addict) and the roommates worked through their issues to try to find common ground and live together in harmony so they could actually enjoy the experience, and best of all, they were real people we could connect with and relate to. Their arguments weren't always the most sound, but at least they were about real things that were relevant to our population. While they learned about eachother, we learned about them, and cared.

Interestingly, the original season took several months to film while the latest was filmed in one month (I'm sure the people in the control room were regretting the day they were born). Even in one month, these kids couldn't come up with one interesting thing to say. They were contractually obligated to work for Student City, a program designed to help vacationing college students have a fun and safe Spring Break. The cast members had no trouble immediately breaking all the no-no's they were given by the company, couldn't show up on time, didn't always fully participate, and Joey couldn't even be bothered to take responsibility for setting his own alarm clock and was fired from the job and ultimately the show, only to return on the last episode in the 'twist ending' where the sleeps with his sworn enemy and housemate, Aiiya. I wonder if they even contemplated that this was a real company with a real reputation that was giving them a real opportunity. If I were Student City and somehow still managed to be in business after the airing of RW: Cancun, a serious name and identity change would be in order.

The only seeming priorities of the Real World kids (whom I refer to as kids, because they look and act like them in every way) has been to drink, have sex, fight, and party, which basically reminds me why I stopped watching a decade ago. Watching this show, it's apparent most of these people can't be in committed relationships, control themselves in any form (drinking, sex, public urination, etc), have zero motivation, and can't perform jobs responsibly or share a house for five minutes without WWIII. The tagline should be changed to: Seven losers picked to live in a house to create pointless drama that bore us to death. I can't even conceive of a person who steals her 'friends' romantic interests, a person who encourages a cutter to cut herself again, or a person who sleeps with the individual they hate the most. I honestly think the visit to the welfare shelter they were assigned to must have been designed to make these characters look semi-sympathetic and to take their minds off of their own endless selfish desires. They came across as completely sociopathic and emotionally damaged and void of logic across the board. A reunion was aired, upon which I hoped watching the season would have embarassed them into a life-altering experience but to no avail (I should have known). I absolutely hated watching this, I'd rather endure torture than sit through it again. PLEASE give me those hours of my life back. However, I did overcome, just so I could write this for all of you.

I shudder to think that there are young people out there that enjoyed this. If this is you, just know that your generation is capable of so much more and that there is nothing real about any of these people. It's obvious they had a non-stop bid for camera time and nothing else. They kept accusing eachother of being fake, all the while being forgeries themselves. They didn't take the time to learn about eachother, presumably because that required actual intellect and took away from their precious time to party on a beach and shout at eachother. Even from a selfish perspective, wouldn't it have made more sense to get along with your roommates so you could really enjoy time spent in Cancun?

I'm not trying to reduce these people to stereotypes though the Real World has long been known for enjoying perpetuating them. I realize that these people must inherently be multi-dimensional and could very well be different if a camera wasn't taping their every move, however it is, which naturally makes it the Unreal World. Blame must fall on the production crew of the Real World who clearly made the choice to not only cast these immature charicatures but also have allowed once multi-dimensional people to be selected and edited into one-dimensional cardboard cutout puppets not worth the view. Watching this was truly like pulling teeth, I couldn't fathom what the producers were drinking thinking when these were the folks that appeared on their casting couch. Did they draw names out of a hat?! With the exception of Aiiya, who was selected by the MTV audience (Way to go). The producers have realized some inherent value in instigators, most likely stemming from the most infamous casting choice in Real World history: FPuck. Imagine having five of him in your apartment and you get the idea.

I honestly don't believe that this generation of teenagers resembles anything close to this colossal mess. Their generation was truly jipped with this presentation and I feel sorry for that. They are living in times of change and reconstruction and I hope they stop to reflect on something other than the beverage they have later. Perhaps the apathy so proudly displayed on this season's Real World is the same attitude that has contributed to some of the current problems our country finds itself embattled with. There are young people out there at this moment leaving their fingerprint on the world through volunteer work and the creation of ideas and art. Where is their representation? What about all the great minds and interesting young people populating this world? I'm guessing they didn't send in a tape. If they did, I'm sure they would see this opportunity as a unique time to learn from others and value their time at a new exciting locale instead of squander it away with petty insignificant arguments and illogical decisions.

Better luck next year (I won't be watching).

Vitiligo: Confirmed

To debunk further rumors:

Michael Jackson's autopsy confirmed he did indeed suffer from the skin disease Vitiligo (refer to photographs from my Vitiligo post dated 2007). The autopsy also revealed that he was balding, something I suspected as when I saw MJ in 2004, he was wearing a clearly wearing a wig.

The autopsy showed him to be healthy otherwise with no other drugs/alcohol in his system other than what was injected, contrary to reports that he was too weak to perform. He was 5'9 and 136 lbs (light, but still considered normal). He had ostheoarthritis on a few fingers and his lower back and a healthy heart.

In other words, his skin disease was real (as we reported years ago), and he was healthy enough to perform. I hope that settles that once and for all, though as we know, rumors will always persist.

Oh, and the autopsy also revealed he was actively producing sperm. I certainly feel if this was any other celebrity it wouldn't have even been mentioned, I don't see any of Hollywood's leading ladies being questioned about their ovaries when they are parents, biologically or otherwise.

Yes, I did get tickets for 'This Is It' and can't wait to see Michael in action!

Jon & Kate Plus Real Jobs (we can only hope)

Yes, this is the return of the Jon & Kate thread (in which, ahem, I humbly called the demise of this entire family months before any public reports of marital trouble. I may not be Madame Cleo, but exercising common sense goes a long way. If you watched one episode of this thing, it was so predictable.)

I was trying to hold off on posting about these two because I'm as tired of them as the rest of you are, but it has simply come to the point where something must be said, yet again.

The latest updates are that the show's name was changed to 'Kate Plus 8' as TLC had been having trouble with Jon since these two split. It's gotta be hard promoting yourself as a family channel when you have a guy running around town drunk with ladies half his age, spending his CHILDREN'S earnings on a phat bachelor pad in NYC, and wearing those god-awful Ed Hardy shirts. Clearly, PopSpiracy could not let this charade go unnoticed! I am not, in any way, on Team Kate either, as you all well know. I think we should put them on a desert island and tell them it's a new reality show and forget to bring the cameras (and crew). Oops.

Within moments of the show's name being changed and Jon's obvious deletion, he is now taking legal action to stop the show, his lawyers sent TLC a cease-and-desist order which claimed police would be called out if anyone stepped onto the property.

According to Jon's lawyer, "Jon realized his family was like a train wreck, so he decided to put the brakes on the divorce and on the show..."

Let me get this straight. Jon Gosselin is just NOW realizing his family is a train wreck?!!
Ok, gimme back my Madame Cleo title, please. Either I'm a rocket scientist or Jon Gosselin is a tool. Or, in this case, maybe both. Kate is not halting the divorce, and dare I say it, I actually agree with her for once.

Jon's lawyer's continued statement:

"I am totally confident that [Jon] will be completely successful in his quest to take back control of his family and preserve, protect and ensure their future and well-being by putting the brakes on his divorce and pulling the plug on TLC, the media giant that he perceives as a monster that has exploited and manipulated his family and has been partially responsible for the breakdown of his marriage. Jon is resolved not to allow the TLC Corporate machine to devour his family and promote the monster's best interests over those of his family. TLC and Discovery have been reputed to have generated approximately $186 million dollars for the quarter – compliments of the Gosselin Family, and Jon firmly believes that their greed to continue that cash flow will be trumped by his courage and determination to protect his family."

First of all, I take it this lawyer hasn't seen one episode of the show or he would know Jon Gosselin was never once in control of his family and the notion that he could protect his children is highly implausible. He couldn't even stand up for himself once the entire time the show taped. If Jon and Kate were concerned with their children's wellbeing whatsoever, this show would have never taped a single episode.

Secondly, to hear Jon Gosselin whine (once again) about TLC exploiting and manipulating his family, contributing to his dissolving marriage, and describing TLC as a monster devouring his family is the best I've heard yet. (In case he needs to be reminded, the Gosselins are the ones who decided to drag their 8 children through this nightmare, no one else. It's not as if there aren't plenty of examples of reality television families torn apart or sextuplets thrown into a circus atmosphere and the long-term devastating effects of this many times over for them to have made a more informed decision.)

Now, I'm not absolving TLC of any blame here. While it has brought us entertaining shows like 'Police Women of Broward County' and 'LA Ink', it definitely had this one coming with all the constantly exploitative shows involving children. From Gosselins and Duggars to 'Toddlers & Tiaras', the whole thing couldn't be more designed to ensure a horrible fate for its young performers all the while masquerading as a wholesome family network. (Note to TLC: What's up with your programming in general? All these awful children reality shows and then rad shows about police women and tattoo shops? A sense of direction is in order here!)

In this statement, I must say I especially love the part where Jon's lawyer mentions the hundreds of millions of dollars the show has raked in for TLC 'compliments of the Gosselin family' as if this were all a wonderfully packaged gift the family never profited from in any way. Meanwhile, Jon is off buying a new car, an NYC apartment, and entertaining clearly desperate young women. (By the way, Jon doesn't work. And he mentions TLC being greedy!)

I think it's highly amusing that he decided to halt this show the second his name was dropped off the title. Egotastic! That said, I have been calling for the cancellation of this show for a year now. Jon's first logical (and correct) decision, made for all the wrong reasons. It's about time those poor kids get off the air and try to have a normal life, though growing up with Jon and Kate will guarantee that can never happen. I can't imagine what these kids have had to go through. Divorce is hard on any kid, and the actions parents make after the divorce have a large impact on how children will feel and cope. Jon's actions have not at all reflected any concern for his family, if what he's been doing the past few months is 'protection', we all have cause to be concerned. Everytime I think he can't possibly make himself look worse, he finds a way to outdo even my next-to-nil expectations.

I seriously hope the Gosselins can get their children into therapy and stop spending their money like it's going out of style. Those kids have been working since they've been in pampers and deserve a stab at normalcy like any other kids. Instead of focusing so much on this nightmarish couple, their children should be the first priority they deserve to be.

:(

Another staple of my youth gone: Patrick Swayze.

Who could forget bawling to 'Ghost' in the 80s?

Or his creepy character in Donnie Darko?

Patrick was a brave man whose positive thinking allowed him to survive as long as possible despite his circumstances. The tabloid media had a field day with his cancer, constantly posting pictures of him emaciated and saying he was already dead last year. Patrick valiantly hung on while announcing to everyone that the reports were wrong, he was still very much alive. I can't imagine how hurtful that must have been. His human spirit and bold attempts at fighting for life are an inspiration to us all.

RIP, Patrick.

Pop-Culture-Sensation-I-Don't-Get Of The Day

BEANIE BABIES!

If someone could please explain the appeal of these completely average stuffed animals, please explain. In the early 90s, Ty released these critters by the bucketload to frenzied fans and massive overhyping. Some people were willing to shell out hundreds of dollars for tiny beanie babies considered 'rare', which basically meant they had a slightly different color variation from a few others, turning Ty into a multi-billion dollar business.

Years later, you literally can't give these suckers away. I used to work for a facility that bought used-but-mint condition Beanie Babies from customers who had stockpiled them for years thinking they would retire on their collection. Naturally, we bought the majority for about a dollar (and that was generous). I'll never forget their faces when they excitedly mentioned one was rare and we handed them a dollar bill. Some people literally had thousands. Even the rarest ones weren't anywhere near as valuable as they hoped and in general, we were able to buy up thousands of Beanies a week at .50 and 1.00 prices. People were disappointed beyond belief, but they knew that was a better deal than they could get most places and went for it. We also had a few counterfeits come in, which was pretty amusing. We could always successfully detect them but they were pretty good mimics. The denial of their lack of present value was so great for a few customers they almost got a coronary and refused to sell them to us, only to come back within a few days looking defeated. I felt bad, but then again, what did you expect buying these mass-produced plain jane wannabes? They are so small, you can't even cuddle with them! If this was your nest egg, this is what marketing brainwashing will get you!

So, I ask you again, why did you buy these again??!!

We just don't get it, y'all.

MTV Video Music Awards Wrap-Up

It's been YEARS since I've seen the VMA's. Then again, my generation of artists was far cooler (sorry, kids). MTV 80s was the best. You can't compete with Weird Al and weird hair or the slew of genius and artists and videos. 90s MTV was a bit of a downgrade but still cool, and modern MTV is... NOT music television. Where are the music videos? Where's Beavis? Hehehhe. Yeah.

I remember the classic MTV VMA moments. Even the pre-show was interesting and unpredictable, I very vividly recall Madonna doing an interview and Courtney Love tossing her compact at her in a desperate bid of attention. Though I will say this year's bid of desperation came from Kanye West, who seems to think any of us actually care what he has to say when he's not singing (I THINK HE BURNED THAT BRIDGE A LONG TIME AGO, CAPS INTENDED). Kanye is plain retarded. Yes, he makes good music. I think the praise ends there. Since when is his opinion worth more than a teenage dream? What a jerk. I'm not a big Taylor Swift fan but every winner deserves their moment. The MTV Awards has a huge demographic and clearly Kanye West wasn't the only artist they loved by a long shot. It doesn't matter how good he is, nothing will sink a career faster than a crap attitude, so keep it up. I was touched by the little boy presenter (whoever he was) that gave Taylor her props, it's pretty crazy that a kid has more class than a grown man. I will say, her performance had a fun feel. It must be hard to perform after something like that, but her ability to keep it fun really just made her come out that much better. I'm sure Kanye will apologize now that he has the world's attention, he's like a broken record. How many times does he do this? Yawn.

I can't reflect on the VMAs without my Jackson comments. I highly applaud Madonna for giving one of the best speeches I've heard in a damn long time, makes me proud I wasn't a hater. I think what she said was as on the mark as any comment anyone has made since Michael's passing, and I'm glad she spoke some words people needed to hear, as one of the only other people on the planet who had the experience to say it. I thought the tribute performances were nice and I found it appropriate that Janet only made a momentary appearance as not to make it seem like she was capitalizing on her brother's death (though I have massively mixed feelings about her doing interviews and getting magazine covers suddenly when she refused to talk about her brother during an interview while he was alive). Clearly she is getting a second chance at her career which is certainly deserved, just not in this manner. The 'This Is It' clips were great, I can't wait to watch MJ's final concert. The footage proves that not only was he still a top performer (he was 50, not 80, people) but he also wasn't a drug addict, no matter what the media perpetuates. No one can be addicted to serious anesthetics and be a perfectionistic dancer at the same time. Clearly he battled painkiller problems over the years and bouts of insomnia in the end but a lot of the media reporting is clearly false as usual, as further proven by the people around him who didn't notice anything off. You can't take those types of drugs and not be falling all over the place like a zombie. I think the final show will be great. I always knew he wouldn't do the shows, but I didn't think it would be because of all this. I do think he has been introduced to an all new generation which I am so happy about and I will always remain respectful of this person and committed to my decision to have been a fan for so long. I do still think MTV is totally lame for banning him and his videos off the channel for years and then suddenly acting like they cared, but I guess that's most people. I remember the year Janet Jackson won the first ever MTV Icon award, which was such a slap in the face and MTV basically doing what was socially cool over what was the right choice. MTV has a sad history with Michael Jackson given he basically built the channel into what it became, but it was nice to see them make a momentary ammends. It was also nice to see DJ AM get some respect, we've lost too many artists this summer way too soon.

Pink gave a very acrobatic performance, I had no idea she did that kind of stuff. There was an LA band, 'Powder' that was great and their lead singer does that kind of performance art while rocking out, it's really random and a great visual combination.

Mad props to Lady Gaga, I'd heard a lot about her but never actually watched her in action and now feel I missed out. Dance music isn't necessarily my forte but I love her presentation as an artist, I respect anyone who creates a visual feast that seems to defy comprehension and her performance was definitely madly unique.

Muse was cool, I know they have a huge US following so hopefully they will play more shows out here.

I thought Alicia Keys and Beyonce were elegant and classy as usual, and I can't give enough of a shout out to Beyonce for being so gracious and giving poor Taylor Swift the moment she deserved. Empathy goes a long way and it's clearly not dead. I was proud of the audience for their reaction to the whole crazy situation, people really shouldn't support disrespect.

It was odd seeing Green Day performing, not looking a day older than they did when I was in high school.

Russell Brand was his usual peculiar self, which I personally appreciated. The night certainly needed his energy.

I actually liked the New Moon trailer, even though I have no real love for the Twilight films (though R-Patz does make me a tad giddy, I'll admit). I like a trailer that looks far better than the film will probably be. My inner child wanted to indulge in anything VMAs tonight, so I gave New Moon the benefit of the doubt.

Eminem really has mellowed out in his older age, I guess he's leaving all the madness for Kanye.

I was super surprised Britney won an award. I am really out of touch with the current music scene (mostly for a reason) but I sort of momentarily forgot about her. Lots of old familiar faces at the VMAs that seem rather timeless and there's a lot more cursing in the show among everyone involved than there ever was when I was growing up. Censor timing certainly has improved!

It was a pretty decent show, I've seen more boring award shows as of recent. The performances were all decent and it was nice to relive an old pasttime.